1. Make sure you're on a straight stretch of elevated road, with a 20 foot dirt embankment and a barb wire fence, so you are motivated to keep the bike upright and on the road.

2. Have Hans in front of you just miss the deer with a wild ass maneuver, missing the deer so closely that he wipes its nose with his saddle bag and slows the deer to a trot.

3. Do your level best to miss the damn thing, knowing all the while that they usually zig when they should zag.

4. Swear loudly and get pissed while all this is happening so your eyes are open.

5. Hit the deer behind the ear so you kill it instantly, blowing its brains out its nose, 65mph seems to be the ideal speed for this.

6.  Hold on real tight so you are able to keep the bike on the road when the deer smacks the end of your handlebar.

7. This will also insure it leaves a lock of its hair on your handlebar as a souvenir.

8. Make sure the deer falls away from your wheels, and doesn't jump in the air (see #5) allowing it to fall against your bike, smacking your leg, and removing your right saddlebag with its ass.

9. Check over the bike with Hans, who then declares "holy deer strike batman!" "The bike is rideable!"

10. Gather up the contents of your saddle bag that got scattered all over the ditch.

11. Bungie cord saddle bag to bike.

12. Get the hell outta there, as you've already ridden 480 miles of twisties and there's BBQ waiting 10 miles up the road.

13. Do a quick duct tape patch at your friends' house and proceed to BBQ party.

14. Chuckle at how many times people are open mouthed when you tell them the story.

15. Get REALLY pissed again when ANOTHER deer starts to bolt in front of you later that night on the way home but recognizes your skill at killing Deer and thinks better of it.

16. Thoroughly wrap fairing in duct tape the next day (retelling story at hardware store) and test tape job on the ride back to Seattle at 110mph.

17. Return the open mouthed amazement at the dealership the next day, when another rider tells of slicing a deer in half at night going 140mph. ( he just kept going, covered in blood and guts) (first story teller doesn't have a chance).

Brad Luther